


Realizations

by LaMorelleNoire



Series: Power Armor and Sniper Rifles drabbles [7]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Danse max affinity speech, F/M, Kes is a tricky bitch, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Blind Betrayal, finally confessing the two dorks are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 09:36:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14566188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaMorelleNoire/pseuds/LaMorelleNoire
Summary: Immediately after Blind Betrayal, Kes makes her way to Cambridge. She breaks the news to Haylen, then offers her friend a night in Goodneighbor to honor Danse's memory.





	Realizations

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place almost immediately after Blind Betrayal. There's like... maybe 10-20 minutes in-between. If you didn't read that, then I suggest doing that first.

The Vertibird lands on the roof of the Cambridge Police Station and Kestrel takes a moment, sighing softly.

“You alright, Paladin?” Stevens asks, looking back at 

“Yeah, I’m just thinking about what I’m going to say to Scribe Haylen.” Kes admits softly.

“She was close to him as well, wasn’t she?”

“Yeah... she was.” Kes steps off the Vertibird and raises a hand in farewell. 

“Good luck, ma’am.” Stevens gives a small salute before he takes off again, leaving Kes alone.

She walks up to the door and hesitates before she knocks. She really hopes it’s not her...

“Who’s th... oh.” Scribe Haylen looks Kes up and down with a cold look. “It’s you.” She stands aside and lets Kestrel enter. “Congratulations on the promotion,  _ Paladin _ .” She hisses. “How does it feel, replacing him before his body is even cold?”

“Scribe,” Haylen immediately notes the lack of, well,  _ Kestrel _ in her voice, “this is the second time you’ve mouthed off to me, a superior officer. When we get a chance I need to speak with you in private about this matter.”

Haylen gives Kes a look. “What happened to you?” She asks, tone softening. “You’ve lost all life...” Maybe his death has shaken her.

“Later, Scribe.” Kes replies shortly. She walks into the main room, cleaned up from the last time she was here, and looking much more like an official base.

“Ma’am!” She returns Rhys’ salute. “I was pleased to hear that that traitor had been dealt with. You’ve truly become someone to admire, something I doubted when we first met.”

Kes’ eyes tighten. She always knew Rhys held much more strongly onto the Brotherhood ideals but she never thought it’d be this bad. To really not care about Danse at all because he’s a synth. She nods to him. “I believe that’s a compliment, so thank you.” Her voice is a little strained. “I’ll be staying here for the week, assisting in missions you may have.”

Rhys nods and he gives her a location to clear out, before he moves on. Kes marks it on the map she keeps with her, then when Rhys leaves she bites her lip. She can’t break now. “Where can we have a talk in private?” She asks Haylen.

“Down here, ma’am.” She takes Kes down to a garage, and with both the doors closed it’s quite private. “Kes...” Haylen begins once they’re alone.

Kes can’t help it; tears build up and spill over and she gives Haylen a tight hug, crying into the other woman’s shoulder. Haylen freezes for a moment in surprise, before she hugs Kes, running a hand up and down her back. “It’s... it’s hit you harder than you make it look, hasn’t it.”

Kes nods. “Y-yeah... fuck I  _ tried _ . I gave him clothes and caps and just as we were about to leave Arthur showed up... he knew I wouldn’t do it. He knew and he followed me and I tried my best to convince him.” She chokes out. She doesn’t go on, leaving Haylen to assume the rest.

Of course, Haylen assumes the worst. “Oh god... when he told us you did it I couldn’t believe it, but now it makes more sense.” She shakes her head. “I... thank you for trying. I know you did everything you could...” she sniffs, and can’t help her own tears from falling.

The two women spend a moment mourning their fallen comrade, and lost love. Once the tears stop Kes wipes her eyes with a shaking hand. “Th-thank you... I... I’ll stick around the station for a bit... I just... I can’t be on the Prydwen right now.”

“Understandable, as the bastard who did this is there.” Haylen growls, wiping her own eyes. “Fuck if he wasn’t the Elder...”

“Watch yourself, Grace,” Kes warns. “I can’t lose another friend to him.”

“Of course... sorry Kes. I promise I’ll be careful,” she nods. They then head up together after getting sorted out.

“Is Scribe Haylen in trouble, Paladin?” The Knight on call, Hargrove, Kes believes her name is, asks her.

“She’s been strongly scolded. Another infraction and there may be more serious consequences.” Kes explains, standing straight with her hands behind her back. Rhys gives her a look up and down, noting the change in posture between now and the last time she was at the station, about four months ago.

“Of course. Your quarters are over here, ma’am. I made sure you had your own bunk.” Hargrove takes Kes back to what used to be the main office of the station. The desk was moved against the wall to make room for the bed. “I know you like your privacy, so we did the best we could.”

“Thank you.” Kes drops her bag onto the bed and turns to the Knight. “Can you send a signal for my power armor? I have a feeling I’ll need it.”

“Of course ma’am.” She nods and goes to the main terminal of the station, requesting the dispatch of Kestrel’s power armor.

Kestrel sits on the bed and takes off her sunglasses, running a hand through her hair and down her face. How well can she keep up this act?

____________

“Haylen?” Kes pokes her head out from her quarters. Her time at the station is drawing to a close, and she needs to get to Goodneighbor.

“Yes, Paladin?” She raises an eyebrow. She enters the room when Kes beckons her in. The door closes after the women are alone.

“How would... how would you like to come to Goodneighbor with me? Have a night drinking to his honor?” Kes rubs the back of her neck, a little awkwardly.

Haylen gives Kes a long look. She’s never been to Goodneighbor but knows of its ruthless reputation. She also knows Kes’ affiliation with the town. “I think... I think that would be how he’d want it. He always did have a taste for alcohol.” She gives a small chuckle that ends in a sob. “I’m guessing I won’t go in this?” She gestures to her Scribe’s uniform.

“I have something you can wear, yeah  Make it a little memorial? A party seems like the wrong term... send him out with a night of drinking and just... freedom... something he never really had aboard the Prydwen.” Kes nods. “I’ll call in a Vertibird in a couple hours.”

“Alright, I’ll be there when you do.” Haylen nods and then heads out.

In a couple hours Kes is climbing aboard a Vertibird with her bag over her shoulder. Haylen has a small bag of things as well, and takes Kes’ offered hand. She’s pulled onto the Vertibird. “Stevens?” Kes looks at the Lancer, “take me home.”

“You got it ma- Kes,” he corrects, seeing the look on her face. The Vertibird takes off and Kes mans the minigun, keeping their way clear. Haylen shoots from her place on the other side, if there’s enemies  on the rooftops.

John Hancock walks out from the old state house and looks up as he hears the rotors of a Vertibird. “The fuck do they want now?” He grumbles to himself, a hand on his hat to keep it in place. He steps towards the rope that drops, then raises an eyebrow at the woman in Brotherhood gear that slides down. His worry is then alleviated as Kestrel slides down after her. “Nice t’see ya again sister. Who’s your friend?”

“This is Grace. She’ll be staying with me.” Kes says, Hancock raising an eyebrow at her tone but then he nods in understanding.

“Alright. Name’s Hancock. I’m the mayor of this town.” He offers a hand to Haylen, and after a moment of hesitation she shakes. “Huh, half expected you to tell me to fuck off.”

“You’ll see I’m much more understanding than the others,” Helen says, a challenge in her blue eyes.

“Alright alright, I feel ya. Just stay out of trouble. You Brotherhood types are always real on edge in my town. Just tryna keep the peace.” Hancock raises his hands defensively.

“Hancock, we can trust her,” Kes assures him. She’d use his first name, but with Haylen there she doesn’t want to step on any toes. “I just brought her here to honor a fallen comrade with good booze and a chance to relax a little.”

“Ah. Sorry for your loss, sister.” He tips his hat towards the women. “I’ll be in the Rail later tonight. Come say hi if you want.” With that, he turns and strides back to the state house.

“This way.” Kes nudges Haylen towards the warehouse she’s claimed as her own. “He’s not a bad guy. Normally he’d flirt with ya, but I think he could tell it’s not exactly the right moment for that.” She unlocks the door to her place and opens it. “Here we are.” She walks through the foyer, up the wooden stairs to the second floor.

Haylen just looks around. “It’s... rather spacious for one person.” She remarks.

“Used to be one of Hancock’s warehouses, and full of Triggermen. Those Triggermen got cleared out and he gave it to me as a place to stay. Mind you, I had to clean the place of the blood and bodies myself.” Kes huffs, dropping her bag onto the floor of her room, before moving to her wardrobe. “I should... have.... aha!” She pulls out an emerald- colored dress. “This should fit you.”

“Thank you.” Haylen takes the dress and goes to another room. While she’s changing, Kes puts on a slim fitting gold dress, a variation she found of the one Magnolia wears. She doesn’t dress up often, but tonight is special.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out of your road leathers.” Kes turns to see Haylen in the dress, it fitting her nicely.

“Nor I you out of that uniform.” She smiles and gestures to the bed. “Now sit down and I’ll fix up your hair. We’ll make a proper occasion out of tonight.”

“You sure you’ll be safe like that?” Haylen asks, sitting on the bed. “I know this town isn’t the safest...”

“I’ll be fine, Grace. Got my trusty hand cannon on me right here.” She lifts the skirt of her dress to show the holstered weapon. Her deft fingers then start braiding Haylen’s auburn hair. “Also Hancock will be at the Rail, and no one is dumb enough to try anything while he’s around. Last person to do so got stabbed.”

“Is he safe, then?” Haylen asks, a little worried about the Ghoul Kes spends her time with. She doesn’t want her friend to be in danger.

“Safe? Fuck no. But he is honest and you can trust him. He’s also loyal to his friends.” Kes twists the braid into a crown around Haylen’s head and then steps back, nodding. “You look stunning. Come on,” she offers an arm as an escort to the Third Rail, “let’s go honor Danse.”

Haylen takes her arm and Kes leads the Scribe to the Third Rail. Kes nods to Ham, the Ghoul bouncer tipping his hat to the two ladies. “You stay out of trouble now.”

“You should know trouble finds me regardless.” Kes chuckles and takes Haylen down the stairs. “I’m thankful you’re not like the others. Ghouls... they aren’t bad people.”

“I know...” Haylen sighs, “and I hate that they treat them the same as Ferals.” She looks around as they go down the stairs, the music filtering up. “I haven’t heard jazz in a very long time.”

“Luckily we’ve got Magnolia. Best singer in the ‘Wealth.” Kes gives said woman a wave, the woman not pausing her song as she waves back. Kes takes Haylen to the bar, pulling out a purse full of caps. “What would ya like, Grace? This here is Chuck.”

“Wot you ‘avin’, luvs?” The Mr. Handy asks, his voice having his usual disgruntled tone.

“I’ll take the usual, and her drink is on me.” Kes slides the needed caps across the counter.

“I’ll just take a Gwinnett Ale, please.” Haylen asks, taking the ice cold bottle when it’s given to her. Kes takes her Dirty Wastelander and then leads Haylen to the back room. “Here, for a little more privacy.”

Haylen enters, nodding to the two men already in the room: the Ghoul, Hancock, from earlier, and another man in a torn duster and a roguish look about him. “You already know Hancock,” Kes gestures to the Ghoul, “and the other is MacCready, a merc, like me. Gentlemen, this is-“

“Grace?” Haylen turns in complete shock at the sound of that familiar voice, the voice she’d never thought she’d hear again. Sure enough, Danse is sitting on a sofa in a set of road leathers, a look of surprise on his face.

“Danse... holy shit Danse!” Haylen cant help herself: she launches herself at Danse, the man standing, and hugs him tightly. He hugs her back, glad to see her again. “I thought you were  _ dead _ .”

“Wait, you mean...?” Danse looks at Kes, at the devilish smirk. “You didn’t tell her?”

“I mean, I never explicitly said you were dead either.” Kes points out.

“You damn well implied it!” Haylen pulls away from Danse, and in a fluid movement as she turns she slaps Kes. “That’s for this past week!”

“Alright, yeah I deserved that.” Kes chuckles and sits down, Danse sitting again. “But I wanted it to be a surprise. Also, I got you all dressed up and looking nice.”

“You look very nice, Grace.” Danse nods to her, a light blush taking her cheeks as she sits on Danse’s other side.

“You both look stunning. You’d look even better with nothing though.” Hancock winks, having been watching the reunion with curiosity.

Haylen raises an eyebrow. “And tarnish my reputation as a Brotherhood Scribe?” She says in mock offense. “I’ll have to decline.”

“Those tin cans wouldn’t need to know, sweetheart.” Hancock gives a raspy chuckle, then snorts at Kes’ expression. “Buuuuut I’ll back off. Kes here might rip my balls off if I don’t.”

“And don’t you forget it.” Kes winks at him and he chuckles.

“Don’t mind me, sitting here, minding my own business.” MacCready cuts in.

“You just need to find a gal, ‘Creads.” Hancock puts an arm around the merc’s shoulders. “Get laid. Then you’ll be just fine. And maybe you won’t be so fucking moody all the damn time.”

Kes snorts as MacCready shrugs off Hancock. “Not right now. Not while the Gunners are still on my a- butt.”

“I could always help with that.” Kes offers, it not being the first time she’s done so.

“Maybe one day I’ll take you up on that.”

“If you need someone dead,” Haylen cuts in, “Kes is perfect. You should have seen her clearing out checkpoints or places of Mutants, Ferals, or Raiders. Clad in power armor and her gatling laser, disintegrating enemies then marching through the ashes.” Haylen shakes her head. “I’ve never seen Kes look so Brotherhood before.”

“Things are different now,” Kes murmurs as she takes a long drink.

Danse puts an arm around Kes and pulls her to him. “What changed?”

“The bastard told the Brotherhood I did it.”

“Wait... Elder Asshole told them you killed him?” Hancock frowns. “Fuck, that’s fucked up.” He shakes his head as Kes nods.

“Yeah, but there’s nothing I can do. So I have to play the part of a dutiful Paladin now, to keep with the image that I didn’t let my affection for Danse let in the way of my duty.”

“He painted you as a loyal soldier, and if you don’t play the part they’ll know he’s alive. Meaning he’ll be in danger.” MacCready summarizes, and Kestrel nods again.

“Exactly.” Kes sighs and leans her head against Danse’s shoulder. “It’s... it’s rough.”

“We could always use more help at Cambridge if you need to get away from the Prydwen,” Haylen offers.

“Thank you.”

They talk well into the evening, and when MacCready finally announces he’s making his way to the Rexford, it’s past midnight. Hancock offers Haylen the spare bed at the state house, figuring Danse and Kes would want her place to themselves. He also promises not to touch her, and Kes threatens him to keep his word. Kes and Danse heads to her place hand in hand. She opens the door and stretches, the dress riding up a little to show the barrel of her gun.

“See you were prepared.” Danse hugs her from behind, kissing her neck as his hand drifts up her leg to the gun. “It’s nice to see you again.”

A small groan is pulled from Kes’ throat as he kissed her neck and his touch left trails of fire on her skin, but she could tell something was off. “What’s wrong Danse?” She turns in his hold so she’s facing him, arms going around his neck. “Something important?”

Danse nods. “It is important, but... I don’t even know where to start.” He pulls away from her so he can pace. “There’s so much I wanted to say.”

“Take it easy, Danse,” Kes puts a hand on his arm. “Whatever it is, I’ll help you work through it.”

Danse sighs heavily. “I don’t know if anything will help me work through it. I’ve spent my entire life, or at least what I perceive of my life, following a plan to shape my own future.” He runs a hand through his hair. “But since my banishment I feel lost... almost like I exist without a purpose. For the first time since that moment I signed up with the Brotherhood, I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have a plan. And it scares the hell out of me.”

“Do you really need a ‘plan’?” Kes frowns, putting her hands on his shoulder, then when he stops moving she moves a hand to his cheek. 

“That’s not the point.” He shakes his head, hand covering hers on his cheek and removing it, but he keeps his hand around hers. “Don’t you understand? Everything I had, everything I knew, is gone. In the span of a few hours, my identity was stripped from me and my world turned upside-down. At least with your past, you had something tangible, something real. Your history with Arthur, your friendships with him and Sarah, your parents in the Vault, they’re living, breathing humans who loved you and cared for you.” He lets go of her hand, and his hands tangle into his hair. “Those sons of bitches who created me couldn’t even be bothered to implant memories of having siblings or parents. I don’t even know how much of my own past is artificial and how much is real. Can you even imagine that?” His hand drop and ball into fists. “I’ve started out as nothing, and I’ve ended up as nothing, and I don’t know what the hell to do about it.”

Kes cups his cheeks, a thumb brushing away the angry tears that have begun to fall. “You’re not nothing, Danse. You’ve never been  _ nothing _ , and you’ll never be  _ nothing _ ... not to me, anyway.” She kisses his nose gently.

Danse sighs, calmed by her reassurance. “You’re right. My life’s staring over, and I need to come to terms with everything I’ve lost and everything I’ve gained, which includes something important you’ve made me realize. I... I don’t know if it’s friendship or an anomaly in my programming- after all, I’m not really human- but whatever it is, I can’t deny I’m feeling closer to you than anyone else I’ve ever met.”

Kes grins. “Danse, I feel the same way... although I hope... it’s more than friendship.” She kisses his cheek.

His expression turns to that “surprised puppy” expression. “A... are you saying you’re... in love with me?” He shakes his head in disbelief. “This doesn’t make any sense. After all your time with the Brotherhood, how could you be in love with, well, a machine?”

“You’re not a machine, Danse.” Kes pokes his cheek. “You’re more human than most people could ever hope to be. And for fuck’s sake Danse I haven’t exactly been subtle with how I feel towards you. What did you think this was?” She gestures between them, meaning their relationship thus far. “What did you think that confession at the bunker was?”

“You don’t know how much it means to me to hear you say that... and I guess I’ve been rather dense, haven’t I?” He laughs. “I really should have seen this coming. And as for that confession, well, I thought it was merely... strong affection, not love. A “friends with benefits” type of deal.

“Look,” He rests his forehead against hers, “I’m not going to lie to you. You’re going to have to be patient with me. Coming to terms with these... human emotions is going to be a very difficult journey, but if we can tackle those obstacles together, I think this relationship could last a very long time.”

Kes grins and kisses him again. “Don’t worry Danse. I’m with you every step of the way. Now, let’s head to bed.”


End file.
